Tip #14 From a Soon-To-Be-Old Asian Man
If you must eat on the subway, use chopsticks or hands, slurp obnoxiously, and always crouch in the corner with your feet flat and your ass touching the ground.
Tips From a Soon-To-Be-Old Asian Man
Pump ya brakes kid. Things are gonna get pretty bleak...I mean, real.
Tip #13 From a Soon-To-Be-Old Asian Man
If the calculation of mathematics is of dire importance to your particular situation and you yourself are number handicapped, I hereby give you my official pardon to immediately seek aid from the first Asian in your vicinity.
Calculating tip amount will not be considered dire.
4 weeks ago - 
1
1 Tip #12 From a Soon-To-Be-Old Asian Man
Nas once said sleep is the cousin of death. But he never said anything about naps. The day you grow out of scheduling naps into your day, is the day you die.
1 month ago - 3
3 Tip #11 From a Soon-To-Be-Old Asian Man
Always, I said ALWAYS, have a go-to karaoke song. I recommend Whitney Houston’s Saving All My Love For You.
Tip #10 From a Soon-To-Be-Old Asian Man
Honestly, it’s OK to be on the subway when school let’s out and feel very scared of getting beat up when surrounded at all angles by middle-school kids born-and-raised in New York. I mean, granted.
Tip #9 From a Soon-To-Be-Old Asian Man
As far as pickup soccer games go, when your team gets a corner kick, you better hope/pray that bitch lands at your feet.
Tip #8 From a Soon-To-Be-Old Asian Man
‘
Look, if you have to hang out with a very short Asian man in public, it’s understandable to feel self conscious about the awkward contrast and consequential looks. But just remember, the Asian guy will reluctantly absorb most of it.
Tip #7 From a Soon-To-Be-Old Asian Man
I don’t even know where to begin with spray-on tanning, other than there is a reason why the hot M&M is green, and not orange.
Tip #6 From a Soon-To-Be-Old Asian Man
Please have courtesy when around Filipinos, because they are constantly being mistaken for Mexican illegals. And then for other Asians, because they are eerily less tan.
Tip #5 From a Soon-To-Be-Old Asian Man
One of the biggest revelations you’ll have in life is that people really don’t care how much weed you smoke. Another one is, that the reason for this is because most people do smoke.
A two-for-one.
